only in the dark
by MurielLeeJones
Summary: CM fic set in the Twilite 'verse. Aaron and Spencer, separably, seek help for Spencer's headaches from dr. Cullen. Not all the Cullens react well to Aaron's attraction to the young man. Oh, and some incidental Alice/Bella. Spoilers for CM season 6. Originally from my dA page, not much changed so far, except spelling.
1. Chapter 1

Alice ran down the stairs to the front door, vibrating with excitement. "Aaron's here!" she squeaked with undisguised joy. Carlisle watched her in amusement, for a vampire with a mate she did get carried away when Aaron put in his occasional appearance.

Bella joined Alice at the door. The parade of vampires she needed to meet still seemed to be quite endless, centuries of friends to be entertained and explained. "Wow." Bella thought, and found herself exceptionally pleased, in the moment, that Edward had no idea what she had just thought. She would have blushed had she been human.

"He's pretty." whispered Alice, sounding strangely sad.

"Pretty?" that was an understatement, though pretty wasn't really the word Bella would have used.

"Not Aaron, his, friend."

Bella at least knew that Alice was looking into Aaron's future.

Edward appeared alongside the ladies. He seemed genuinely pleased to have Aaron, who by all accounts lived on the fringes of the vampire world, over to visit. Edwards brow contracted suddenly, as Aaron's thoughts became available to his mind. Aaron was coming to ask Carlisle about a friend? A friend who was seriously ill.

That was the trouble with living in the human world, the mortality, the frailty of your companions. Edward tried to make sense of the rest of that thought. Aaron was here for help, he was in love with a human. It was a bad habit, it had ended badly with Haley. Aaron had lied to Haley, day in and out, he had never taken her as his lover, the little boy was fathered by Edward knew not who. The relationship with Haley had been a mistake, but Aaron was doing it again. She was pretty though. He, corrected Edward to himself, he is pretty.

"He? you're in love with a man?" Edward had lost his cool just a touch.

"He's beautiful." purred Alice.

Jasper turned on his heel and was gone.

Bella was aghast by the time Carlisle and Esme reached the door to greet Aaron in a normal fashion. Carlisle drew Aaron into the Cullen home with a handshake. "I got your letter Aaron. I can give you advice, I would need to meet him, I'm not sure if I can offer help."


	2. Chapter 2

The letter had arrived the same day as Aaron.

Dear Dr. Cullen,

I am so sorry to impose upon your time. I believe your extensive experience may allow you to shed some light on my illness. My life is becoming unbearable, and you are now my only hope at obtaining some relief.

I am taking the liberty of including some details of my case, as well as my MRI results. As you will see there are no abnormalities on the MRI's of my brain. Over the last year I have become increasingly troubled by severe migraines. When these headaches strike I cannot tolerate light, or sound, eat, and become bilious. I am, at this time, consistently light sensitive, only being able to work outdoors in sunglasses, and sometimes unable to work. I am also suffering from hallucinations; some of which appear to be clairvoyant. I realize my apparent belief in my own clairvoyant abilities does lend itself to the diagnosis of mental illness. In the interests of honesty my mother is an institutionalized paranoid schizophrenic. I assure these are not symptoms of schizophrenia.

Furthermore, while I do not believe this is relevant, but the truth is I believe my only hope, I am addicted to diluadid, and suffer from night terrors. I was kidnapped and tortured several years ago, but have worked through those issues. Additionally I have suffered PTSD from, unfortunately in my line of work this is inevitable, killing people, violent criminals, but none the less people.

In my hope of a cure I have consulted not only with neurologists, but also with a traditional  
Voudon healer, who gave me some temporary respite.

I am begging for your help. Please call me, or e-mail me, even if it is to let me know you cannot take my case.

Dr. Spencer Reid  
xxx-xxx-xxxx  
sreid

Carlisle picked up the phone and called Dr. Spencer Reid. He wouldn't tell Aaron about this just yet.


	3. Chapter 3

Edward and Aaron had been dismissed, politely, kindly, but none the less dismissed, together, no less, to go on a hunting trip.

Edward steeled himself, had been sent out with Aaron, and he was more than a little appalled with Aaron's attraction to a man, it was unnatural. Unnatural? Of all the things for the vampire to accuse someone of? Unnatural? Still upbringing is hard to shake, and Edward couldn't recall (and he would if it had happened) meeting another vampire with Aaron's inclinations. That was part of the frustration, these weren't Aaron's inclinations, to which the Haley fiasco bore testament. Now Edward would have to listen to Aaron's out of control monologue. Not that anyone would accuse Aaron Hotchner of lacking control, he lived among humans. Aaron loved this man, would never touch him, never declare his love. Aaron always did the right thing; and Aaron knew what Edward knew, "unnatural."

Edward was pleased of the fact that he could only hear (and see) thoughts, not experience feelings or touch. Edward shuddered with disgust at the thought of Aaron feeling that for another man.

"He has to get better." Aaron's thought intruded. Aaron hated that his thoughts weren't private, Edward was his forced confessor. "He can't hurt like this, Carlisle must help him, must find some way, why can't I help him? Can he be helped? Dear god, let him get better." Men weren't meant to be attracted to each other. "I need to touch him, maybe at least I can comfort him, let him know he is loved, I love him, I want to hold him, Spencer." And Aaron wanted more.

This simply wasn't how it was meant to be. Edward sought a way to stop it.

"Aaron, Aaron, Aaron!"

"Oh, what? Edward, sorry this wasn't my intention..." Aaron trailed off, suddenly, again, cognisant that Edward was aware of his, Aaron's, internal conversation.

"I need to hunt, Aaron, even if you don't." Sharp, maybe sharper than he intended, there were things one couldn't control, Edward should know that.

Aaron followed along, bone tired, dazed, lost and longing. His mind turned to Spencer, he still gasped to himself at how beautiful Spencer was, how perfect.

"Aaron, could you at least try and keep your thoughts to yourself?" spat Edward, no longer as accommodating.

"I care about him, is that too much?"

"You WANT him, that's what I don't understand. I don't need to know what you want, how you want it, or why..."

"I love him." fangs bared, but voice matter of fact, turning to look away, to avoid the conflict that centauries of tradition was about to force on the friends.

Edward stood, stock still, "Love? Is that love?"

Aaron's mind caught on the idea of Spencer, soft careful safe kind thoughtful insightful giving selfless brave vulnerable intelligent shy caring lost beautiful Spencer.

Edward flinched. Definitely love.

**Authors note:** written a while back, part of my moving stories over from dA, I'm doing what I can about my characterization, it is hard to go back and fix—even when clearly necessary.


	4. Chapter 4

"Aaron, you understand this is more than unusual. Bella was a case unto herself, the Voltari insisted, she insisted on carrying the baby, she would have died bringing Edward's child into the world. Aaron, we don't even know what's making him so ill." Then a long pause, "Aaron, what is your relationship with him?"

Carlisle had witnessed Alice's whisper, Edward's outburst and Jasper's departure.

Aaron paused, "Carlisle, we've known each other for a long time, you know who I am. I've made my mistakes in love. My talents lend me to living closely with humans. I've found some purpose in destroying their worse and protecting their weakest," again a pause, "I love him."

Aaron took a deep breath, Edward knew, no doubt Alice knew, really Carlisle knew all along, he had come here knowing he would need to tell the truth. "I love him, Carlisle. He's young, he's human, he's vulnerable, he works for me, and I love him. No, he doesn't know, about us, about me, about how I feel. Carlisle, I can see the pain he's in." Pause. Aaron looked at the floor and pinched the bridge of his nose—he was becoming so human. "I'm not asking you to do anything, except, maybe, create another option. I know it's an enormous risk."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxx

Bella looked at Alice. "Aaron took an enormous risk in helping us find the Amazons. He used his FBI contacts. He could have been exposed. In doing that he could have died for this family. He is an honorable man, a kind man, a gentleman in every way," Pause. "and his heart is breaking."

"What is he to you?"

"A good friend. No Bella! Not like that." Alice giggled. "You should see him smile Bella; and he lets me dress him up endlessly. Excellent taste."

Bella wasn't entirely sure Alice was talking about clothes.

Xxxxxxx

Alice had a far-away look on her face, one which she sometimes acquired when looking into the future.

"Oh!" she gasped. Bella was curled around Alice, her arm's around Alice's neck, listening to Alice's monologue, which contained, may "Oh's" and a few "hmmm's" and a gasp or two.

"What's he doing now?"

"Bella, I hope they really get this, it's so sweet, and tender, and so sad."

"He dies?"

"I don't know! Oh my! Oh!"

"What?'

"Aaron is kissing him, on the lips, it's so soft. I can tell Aaron is afraid of hurting him. Aaron is picking him up, and carrying him to a bed, it's here, in this house. Oh, god, that's hot. Aaron is setting him down, and leaning over him, and kissing his neck, and unbuttoning this shirt, and slipping the poor boy out of it. Which is good, the shirt is awful. He's begging Aaron to take him. Oh, Bella, I wish you knew how pretty he is, tall and slender, and the biggest softest eyes, it would be a pity to lose that, so elegant, beautiful hands. He's talking, he's telling Aaron he knows. He knows? He doesn't care, he doesn't care if Aaron hurts him, he's begging Aaron to, excuse me, his words not mine, "fuck" him. He's pressing his eyes shut, the room is completely black, but he still seems afraid of the light. Oh, Aaron is taking his clothes, kissing down his chest and belly, and"

"Alice, go on."

"He's hard. Well both of them are, but I can see him, Aaron is taking him in his mouth. Oh. He's moaning, and begging and begging to be, you know." Alice smiled, she really hoped Aaron did get this.

Bella stood behind the seated Alice. "Go on." she whispered into Alice's ear. Alice could feel the cool presence of Bella behind her. Alice could feel Bella sliding her arms around her neck. Bella's lips touched her neck, racking a small track with her teeth. "More, please." Bella begged.

"Aaron is swallowing his young man's, uuuhhh. He's grabbing into Aaron's hair. Aaron is sliding a hand down, and back, and ooh, he's gasping. Aaron's putting a finger in him I think, he's arching his back, and pleading."

Bella bit into Alice's cold neck She slid a hand down and traced the line under Alice's breasts. Alice wondered how she was meant to focus on anything else when she had this happening.

"He's, Aaron is, uhh, taking him with his fingers. You should see the look on Aaron's face. Now he's begging Aaron. Aaron is refusing, refusing to hurt him." Pause.  
"What? Oh, Aaron's doing it. He's so gentle, he's taking him."

"Oh," Alice gasped for herself. Bella had slid a hand into her blouse.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

"Jasper, Jasper, JASPER!" Shouted Edward, "Home, now."

"What?" Completely focused on their hunt.

"The girls, they," there was no good way to finish that sentence.

"They're?" running.

Did Jasper really need to know this? Did Edward? It was a little late.


	5. Chapter 5

Dear Mom,-Spencer started his letter, "Dear Mom, I'm sorry about the delay in writing. As you know sometimes my work takes precedence over all other aspects of my life; this time my absence was not due to my work. I have been unwell for several months now, and have, after trying all orthodox, and some unorthodox, modalities of health care available, availed myself of the services of Dr. Carlisle Cullen. His vast experience may be my sole hope of shedding light on my condition. I will be staying at his house for the next week. I am so sorry not to be seeing you during my leave from work, but my situation needs to be addressed.  
All my love—Spencer.

Dear Mom, I hope you are well and received my last letter. I have arrived at the Cullen residence, which I find restful, and am optimistic that the quietude of this place will bring some sort of peace. Dr. Cullen has read all my files, and he and I have discussed extensively my options. Unfortunately, I may simply have to live with this condition. I was surprised to find my supervisor from the BAU, SSAIC Hotchner, also paying a visit.  
All my love—Spencer

Dear Mom, I hope you continue to be well. The Cullen household, while quiet and dark, two aspects which I value, is full of beauty. Edward, a young man of appearing twenty or thereabouts, plays and composes beautiful music, which he has been kind enough to share with me. I had begun learning to play the piano, as a way to quiet my mind, and his help is invaluable. Alice, his sister is a beautiful spirit, full of life, she doesn't approve of my wardrobe and has made several, sometimes disturbing, "improvements" to it. Bella, Edward's new bride is full of grace and passion, and brings love to all around her. Their young daughter is a light to all who live in this house—and is a prodigy, above all I have seen. It is reassuring, Agent Hotchner, staying at the house with us.  
All my love—Spencer

Dear Mom, My thoughts are constantly with you; I hope you are well. I continue to stay at the Cullen house. I do not know when I will choose to return to Quantico. I have taken a leave of absence from the FBI, while I seek some relief. I can no longer stand the light of day. The Cullen household is quiet and dark, and I am increasingly at peace here. Carlisle and Esme are the epitome of perfect hosts, leaving me with little to want; except my health. Their kindness to me has been extraordinary, and they have offered that I stay here as long as I please. Aaron Hotchner is also able to stay a while longer.  
All my love—Spencer

Dear Mom, Hope this letter finds you well. My illness continues, and I believe it is only fair that you know the truth. Along with the chronic migraines, I have begun to hallucinate. Sometimes these visions are prophetic, or I believe they are; sometimes terrifying, but always confusing. You must truly know how afraid I am. Aaron does his best to understand, but you I can trust to know.  
All my love—Spencer

Dear Mom, Hope you continue to be well. My illness continues, and I no longer believe there is any hope of reprieve. The Cullens are gracious, as ever, and I doubt I will leave the comfort of this household. I hope you understand how I love you. Know that I am proud to be your son.  
All my love—Spencer

Dear Mom, I am so sorry to have frightened you, hope you feel better when you receive this letter. My health still deteriorates. The Cullens are long time-friends family friends of Aaron, and he will be staying with me until I no longer need him, he brings me peace and hope, in a way that given the circumstances, is extraordinary.  
All my love—Spencer

Dear Mom, I hope you continue to improve. In the interest of the truth I must confess that my health is finally failing. Aaron's love, however, is not. He presence and support, both emotional and physical, carry me through this time. He is my solace, my rock, and my heart. I hope that you will one day meet him, and understand the love I have for him.  
All my love—Spencer


End file.
